If you asked most people that visited Singapore, whether they thought the local people were friendly, you would hear a resounding YES. And for the most part that’s true. If you’re ever lost amongst the maze of tall buildings at Raffles Place or would like to know the best place for a laksa, then any one of hundreds of Singaporean bystanders will only be too pleased to help.
The situation is somewhat different when you’re an expat living here and involved in activities with Singaporeans. Take for example my Jiu Jitsu class. I’ve been practicing the martial art for a few months now, yet some of the “seniors” in the class don’t utter a word to me despite the fact that I always initiate a greeting with them. Every time they lay their gaze on me, they simply glance away and pretend as though they didn’t see me. Mind you, there are some exceptions to this rule (as usual) and others are very forthright in their conversation with me.
Now my friend Mike experienced the same thing in his running group. Despite his best efforts to make friends, he rarely gets spoken to by the other locals. I’ve observed this behaviour at the gym, university groups and elsewhere.
I’m not one to make sweeping generalisations and state that Singaporeans in more intimate encounters are therefore not nice people, but I have found it challenging building close personal ties and relationships with them. I’m not pointing the finger and suggesting it’s a flaw in their character, but rather I’d like to understand exactly what it takes to establish a strong camaradarie with them. Is it patience or a different approach all together?
Either way, I hope there’s a sequel to this blog post with more positive outcomes identified.
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